In the first Destroy All Humans!, Crypto evidently didn’t manage to successfully carry out his objective to destroy all of the humans – as per the title’s remit – necessitating the existence of a 2006 sequel, which forms the basis for this remake, playfully titled Destroy All Humans! 2 – Reprobed. With the 2020 remake of the original Destroy All Humans!, developer Black Forest Games proved that it can pretty up an old game, but the studio had an uphill struggle in updating the original game’s dated design. Happily, Destroy All Humans! 2 is a better, albeit somewhat patchy, game, and as such, Reprobed proves a more inviting proposition. And, who in their right mind doesn’t enjoy zipping around in a flying saucer reducing landmarks to rubble? Watching Parliament burn, before toppling into pieces under the heat of a death ray, is especially gratifying.

destroy all humans! 2 - reprobed review

Show those stupid humans who’s boss.

In Destroy All Humans! 2, Cryptosporidium-137 is no more, paving the way for next-in-line clone Cryptosporidium-138 to aid overseer Pox in his mission of conquest over planet Earth, when the Furon mothership is destroyed. Opening in 1960s America, a place overflowing with hippies and a conspiracy to unleash a mind-altering drug known as ‘Revelade’ upon an unsuspecting population, DAH! 2 wastes no time in letting you loose to wreak havoc with Crypto’s alien hardware. Wrapped up in the mayhem is the KGB, which sees Crypto chasing the Soviet agency from US soil to a version of London known as ‘Albion’; a vibrant take on Tokyo called ‘Takoshima’; and the Russian motherland, in the bleak town of ‘Tunguska’. Before long, you’ll be taking a trip to the moon, and facing a crustacean-like alien menace known as the Blisk.

From the moment you meet hippy leader Coyote Bongwater in Bay City – the game’s version of San Francisco – it’s immediately apparent that Destroy All Humans! 2 revels in grotesque caricatures and stereotypes, while its humour is all innuendoes, as Crypto makes lewd cracks towards voluptuous KGB spy, Natalya Ivanova. Black Forest even sees fit to precede the game with a message, noting how things have moved on a bit since the original version of DAH! 2 released sixteen years ago, but it’s preserved in its entirety here, without any edits or cuts. Some of the humour remains vaguely amusing, though much of it might elicit the odd cringe.

destroy all humans! 2 - reprobed review

Regardless, Destroy All Humans! 2 – Reprobed manages to provide almost unadulterated fun, albeit fun hampered by a fair few inconvenient and annoying bugs, and one specific section that’s been meddled with – a once notoriously easy boss fight, which has now been dialled up too far in the other direction, making it insanely tough, with missiles and lasers whizzing around, left, right, and centre. As for those bugs, examples include random freezing, mission progress glitching out and leaving you in limbo, NPC vehicles deciding to go off-road or shoot up into the sky, and just an out-and-out hard crash to the dashboard.

Rare texture pop-in, screen-tearing, and struggling frame rates don’t exactly cover the DAH! 2 remake in glory, which is a shame, because, when it’s not testing your patience with its litany of technical niggles, it’s actually remarkably enjoyable. Original developer Pandemic Studios hit its stride with Crypto’s second outing, improving the mission variety and dispensing with the irritating instafail stealth objectives, and, obviously, that makes Reprobed a better game than the remake of the first. It also helps that, as a remake, Reprobed is inherently superior to Black Forest’s previous effort, bugs aside, of course. Character models are still chunky and cartoonish, but markedly less hideous than they were; while the destruction is quite spectacular, and the range of exotic locations help to keep things interesting.

destroy all humans! 2 - reprobed review

If you could dispense with some of the politicians while you’re there…

Hopping into Crypto’s flying saucer to rain down heat-ray death from above is never not deliriously entertaining, while frying foes using the electrifying Zap-O-Matic, breaching arses with the Anal Probe, or popping human brains from their skulls, is a singular, twisted joy. Crypto’s a proper little bastard, jealous of Natalya’s old flame Sergei, when his leering desires for the catsuit-clad KGB agent aren’t reciprocated, and when he’s not making advances he’s seldom shy of reducing buildings and people to ashes. It’s great to embrace the warmongering extra-terrestrial’s gleefully destructive tendencies, and revel in creating pure chaos.

Odd Job missions and collectibles will also keep you playing once you’ve dispensed with all 28 of Destroy All Humans! 2’s main story missions, if you can put up with the minor issues, while multiplayer minigames like Duel Mode and PK Tennis provide ample enjoyment for two players, outside of the game’s drop-in/drop-out story co-op. There are some bum notes here, and a handful of missions fall wide of the mark, including the obligatory horrible final boss encounter, which is a tedious exercise in painfully slow attrition; but overall, there’s a lot to like about this remade sequel. A wilfully silly game, laden with daft jokes and even dafter characters, Destroy All Humans! 2 – Reprobed is rough around the edges, and could have used some extra polish, but it’s alright.


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